Last weekend was just one of those times when I could have quite happily hibernated on the sofa, surrounded by blankets, tea and a book. But as tempting as it was to wallow, like everyone I had things to do and work to go to. Sometimes it is so easy to just let negative thoughts and feelings get on top of us, but the other day, my Grandad left a comment on my blog about feeling a bit naff after finishing uni and defeated by job searching, simply saying “keep thinking positive thoughts, everything will work out fine” and another blogger commented that they were feeling exactly the same. It reminded me that I am someone who always tries to look for the positives, however big or small, and this is always a quality I admire in others.
Since completing my degree it’s become apparent that some people will think you’re a failure for not reaching your desired career right away. Working as a waitress, some people assume they are above you because you are serving them. I’ve gone home some days and really internalised this and pondered over it, or one person’s throwaway comment about why I did a degree in the first place. I could hear a million positive things from my best friends but sometimes I find myself thinking about the one negative comment from a compete stranger or someone I don’t know that well.
It is of course a lot easier said than done, but we owe it to ourselves to just ignore other’s negativity if its bringing you down and I am a true believer that altering your perspective can have such a massive impact on our happiness.
I’ve always had the attitude that if you go into something thinking negatively then things might not turn out as positively as they could, whether that be an exam, interview or even walking in to work. I could approach my tables today feeling crappy because one completely obnoxious individual was so rude I wonder if they’ve ever eaten in a restaurant before and think negatively in case I have to deal with that again, or I could think positively that this very rarely happens and I’m good at my job. I could worry that I’ll never find another job or put my degree to use, or I could feel positive that I am applying for jobs while employed and I have lots of other things to be grateful for.
While there seems a lot of pressure to achieve and show people that studying for so long has resulted in something, when something is right for me, it will come along. An opportunity hasn’t come around yet because it might not be the right one. AND I didn’t study Literature for four years to show anyone anything, I did it quite simply because I love books and that’s what I wanted to do with my life, and guess what, that’s reason enough!
I’m not trying to make this blog sound idealistic in any way and I know from my own experiences how hard it is to feel demotivated and deflated. Everyone will experience down days to different degrees, it is okay to feel like that and need to lean on others for help, but what has helped me most is really learning not to worry so much about what others think and worry about myself and those closest to me a little more. Here are some things I have been doing which I genuinely enjoy doing for myself and take very little effort because lets face it, some days we just don’t want to make any.
Reading – whatever situation I have gone through in life, I have found a book to escape in to. I’ll take a book everywhere in case I have to wait somewhere or something, its almost like a comfort blanket. I just absolutely love books and whenever anyone questions it I know for certain that I did the right thing studying what I’m good at. (PS, another way to feel positive is to not be afraid of giving yourself credit for your talents, it doesn’t mean your big-headed)
Enjoying time off – shift work in a restaurant is a weird one because half of my friends are living for the weekend, which I’m usually working what we like to call in the industry an AFD and the other half are at work with me. So whatever day off in the week I get I’ve been trying to make the most of it, whether that be sitting in front of the sofa eating or trying to catch up with everyone.
Really simple things – like starting the day with coffee, buying a new Autumnal jumper and feeling cosy or spending the evening in the CUTEST woodland animal pyjamas
Baking – I find it so therapeutic, I love getting all my ingredients out and baking when I have a lot of time so there’s no rush and being creative. Lots of people say its stressful but baking is always what I want to do when I have some time to myself.
So there’s just a few of my thoughts on positive thinking, I’m surrounded by so many people who have experienced challenges far greater than I ever have, who inspire me everyday and I’ve also learnt that thinking negatively and listening to others who aren’t being helpful quite simply gets you absolutely nowhere. You can read similar blogs here:
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